Oh geez.. Ever since I've graduated from college, I never thought I'd experience this degree of anxiety and depression that I'm currently suffering from. How many times has it been already that I've questioned my decision and choices in my life. It's only now that I think I'm regretting everything. My field of study is anything related to Marketing but now I don't think I want anything to do with jobs related to that. I feel like I wanted to do other things.. other great things that truthfully aren't really for me. I have this tendency of trying to attempt to be like those awesome people with amazing profession and talent. I greatly admire people who had a gift for creativity and art. I wanted to be like those fashion enthusiasts who make their own line of clothing and accessories. I badly wanted to become a web designer because I really think they are cool. I just want everything that I'm not. I really like singing not in a professional manner, but I just want to be able to sing properly and somehow make somebody appreciate my singing. At this point in my life, I'm not really sure what I really wanted to do. I envy people, I envy successful people. I decided to abandon my social life because I kept looking down on myself and thought everyone will probably belittle me if they know that I'm currently career-less, yes I don't want to call it jobless I'd just thought I'd seem more pathetic. Haha.
Lately, I'm drowning myself within a fictional world and setting. I just keep on watching anime series and reading fictional novels because somehow, I feel like I'm one of the characters in the story. That I am one of their companions and that I also live inside their own fantasy world. How convenient, huh? If only that feeling could last me a life time.
